I Don't Regret It
by mysteriousmissessnape
Summary: Ron bashing just fyi. AU in the Potterversie good people lived. Slight mention of Harry. Oneshot


Disclaimer: Not mine, I just like to play with the snarky potions master and Gryffindor princess. AU, everyone in the order of phoenix lives but you don't really hear about them. If you like Ron, run away now. Major bashing. Sorry, I think he's a prat.

Severus grinned at the rabid Weasley. "Yes, Mr. Weasley? Can I help you? Or are you going to stand in my common room all afternoon?" Hermione pressed closer to Snape, attempting to hide in plain sight, which of course didn't work. The moment she moved, Rons blue eyes were locked onto her. "Why Mione? Why him? He's-"

"Ronald Billius Weasley, if you call him the Dungeon Bat one more time, I will shove your wand up your arse, sideways. And for the last time, my name is Hermione. Her-my-oh-nee. Got it?" Hermione had vaulted up from her seat, watching as he struggled to form words. She knew her hair frizzed and that she looked ragged but the prick had made her cry earlier, claiming that she was a frigid bitch for not shagging him immediately. She was not Lavender Brown thank you very much.

Subtly noting her wand had disappeared from her sleeve, she sent Severus a calculating glare. Glancing back at Ron, she had noticed that the boy had turned a rather unappealing shade of puce. Severus merely looked amused until Ron jumped the coffee table and Hermione watched him land a punch to Severus' face. "Ronald, get OFF!" Hermione grabbed Ron around the waist to pull him off and instead they both ended up arse over teakettle, Ron's elbow nailing her in the stomach. Standing to brush herself off, she noticed Severus swipe his hand under his nose and it came away red. Whisperingly, she cast a body bind on the enraged Ron.

"When you came barging in like a great bloody oaf Ron, Severus and I were not doing anything untoward. However, you fail to understand that I will not shag you, so obviously I must be shagging Severus because I was holding his hand. If you wish to know what happened, it was merely him comforting me after you called me a frigid bitch. That, however, he was not made aware of when I burst in here, crying my eyes out like some ruddy school girl. So well done. Whatever my husband does to you now that hes been made aware of the circumstances is up to you." Hermione watched as Ron's eyes widened and flicked between the two of them. Severus canceled her spell and watched a Ron fumbled to stand upright.

"Well. No wonder you didn't want to shag me, you're letting an ex-deatheater! I don't even want to touch yo-" Ron was cut off by the tip of both Hermione and Severus' wands. Hermione's was pointed to choicely bits located between his legs. Severus' wand was right under his chin. "Now. You can either leave, or end up as my new common room rug. What is your choice, Mr. Weasley?" Severus dropped his voice and dug his wand into his neck, piercingly sharp. "I'll just.. I'll just be going then." Ron stuttered and took off out of the door he had appeared in. They heard a loud crack from the hallway and knew he was gone.

"I'm sorry." Hermione lowered her head and grimaced when she heard the floor creak under his weight. Hearing him snort, she looked up at him questioningly. Severus slipped his arms around her waist and murmured into her hair. "Are you not aware that not only did we threaten a fellow member of staff together, you happened to have told the last person you felt you needed to, that we have wed?"

"What? Oh no.. He's probably gone to bother Harry about us being married. Bugger. Harry would tell him that he was at the wedding won't he?" Hermione groaned into her hands.

"Bloody buggering savior of the world that one is." Pulling her hands away as she muttered waspishly, Severus grinned again. With two fingers under her chin, he lifted her head and watched her face. Slowly he leaned in and brushed his lips against her noticeably softer ones. "I don't regret it." He muttered, and she could feel his breath on her face. Calmly, she grabbed his left hand in hers and held them where their rings were now visible. "I never have. I don't regret you. I don't regret this life. I love you."

"I love you."


End file.
